he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
