If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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