its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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