Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
