Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
