For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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