She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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