that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You ate ashes out of my bong
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
