found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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