You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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