She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
