the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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