I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
