and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
