im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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