yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
