i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize