i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
