Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
