I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
