my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
