All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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