I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
