Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
