i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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