I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
