we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
