if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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