The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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