The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
