im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
