I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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