Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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