i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
