so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
