i just had sex bonerless
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
so much tequila, so little girl.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
