God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize