hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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