did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
