If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
