he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
