You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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