would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
