I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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