she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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