her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
