You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
