So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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