I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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