arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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