Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize