is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
