so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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