yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize