So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Pooping to opera.
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