I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
