So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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