But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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