I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
