No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
