just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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