This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize