I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
