were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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