Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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