break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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