FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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