Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
