she was so not down for the gang bang
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
