I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
are you so shy because you have an std?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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