I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
