Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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